WTF!!! I DIDN'T GIVE PERMISSION TO BE ON THIS AD!



WTF! You believe this shit? Someone totally sniped my old high school yearbook photo for this ad! This is soooo lame! I can't believe it! Don't they need like some kind of release form or something? It's all over the internet and I only just found out about it! And it's totally insulting!!!! Yeah, I am a model now, thank you very much! What of it? What's with the surprise?! I don't see anything surprising about it! You know who's not surpised? Ever hear of a little magazine called Vogue? Yeah, they employ me regularly. As does, Elle, Vanity Fair, Seventeen, Instyle and Hirsuite Ladies Monthly, (but that was just when I was starting out!!!! :D ;D)

Sure, that photo shows a little teenage awkwardness, but who wasn't a bit awkward in high school? OMG have you seen Christie Turlington's high school photo? OMG, I thought she was a special needs child, that's how hideous it was! I was like, who's the mongoloid with the bow in his hair? OMG, Christie??????? Seriously, folks she was voted Drooler Most Likely to Soak a Bib! Me on the other claw, I was a beauty from the get go- just look at those eyes! Those cheekbones! That mouth! Those chins! Face it, I was gorgeous! And guess what, classmates.com? I was voted Prom Queen in high school! So there! Everyone thought I was really hot and popular! I remember it well, the crown being placed on my head, the sea of smiling, laughing faces, the bucket of pig's blood splashing all over me and then the laughter turning to screams as I telekinetically sealed the doors and destroyed the auditorium. It was a beautiful ceremony.

Man, if I wrote that ad, it would say something like: "She's Still Out of Your League, Buddy!" or "She's A Model Now? No Shit, Sherlock!" or "Beauty Queen Now Accepting Paypal Donations from Ugly Classmates. No Touching." Grrr!!! I'm really steamed about this people!

BTW, where the hell is that necklace!!! It had a lock of Ed Begley jr's hair in it and I wore it all the time!! I've looked everywhere, sigh.